Hi! This is Mary! Welcome to my blog. This is where I share my life, travel journals, and thoughts with my family and friends around the world. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care! Mary ~ P.S. I would love to hear from other moms around the world, expecting, pregnant, new or experienced :)
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Jupiter, Venus and Moon
When the sun goes down, look for the three brightest objects in the sky - Jupiter, Venus and Moon. They come closest, a phenomenon that will not be visible again till 2012. The two brightest planets in the solar system and the moon were seen just two degrees apart and will be visible all through the night.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Pregnancy Week 31
We took a newborn care and breastfeeding class. It was very helpful for first time parent and we learned many things.
- Don't use baby powder! It has talc ingredient (good for preventing little ants) that can cause cancer and pneumonia. The powder can cause asthma. Use ointments or cream instead.
- Baby is used to be close to you and hear your heart beat during pregnancy, so sometimes the baby wants to be held all the time but you need to do some work. Baby sling is very useful.
- During bath, it's very important to stay with the baby all the time. Baby can move in split seconds.
- Don't buy used "open-system" breast pump because pathogens like Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), hepatitis, cytomegalovirus (CMV) and others can be found in the breast milk of infected women and there is no way to guarantee the pump can be cleaned and disinfected. "closed system" are okay giving that you replace all the tubes.
Breast pump is good for woman who needs to go back to work and still wants to provide breast milk for her baby, or to store extra milk in the bottle. If it's possible, breast feed directly is preferred, baby's sucking increase the supply and baby is better at sucking than the machine. 20-40 mins per side until the baby get the hind-milk after several minutes of nursing. It has the highest concentration of fat.
After delivery, it's important to have skin to skin contact between mom and baby. Don't feel rushed by the nurses, the baby will find his/her way to your breast. Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/user/breastfeedingbabies?blend=1
Good video on latching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zln0LTkejIs&feature=channel_page
- Ameda purely yours breast pump works very well. I called both Medela and Ameda regarding how to sanitize the bottles and parts. Both of them did NOT test it in microwave, but rather recommend to start with cold water and bring it to boil the first time using it. Then the future uses, wash with hot water and let it air dry. Handsfree technique.
- Breast milk has nutrition that formula can't reproduce. Breast milk helps your baby be healthier and have higher IQ. It's possible for woman to produce breast milk with help of lactation drug, natural herbs (Gaia), good healthy diet, rest and replenish fluid. Breast feed exclusively for the first six months, and that nursing should continue after the introduction of solids for at least 12 months, and longer if mother and baby wish. Cabbage can reduce the milk supply or help with engorgement.
DAY 4 TO WEEK 6 — SETTING YOUR MILK SUPPLY
http://www.ameda.com/breastfeeding/stages/day4.aspx
Good tip from our Bradley method instructor:
Milk is a supply and demand thing. The more the baby nurses, the more prolactin your body will make. The more prolactin your body makes, the more milk you will make. Frequency is important. A woman who nurses 12 times a day for 11.6 minutes each time will have more milk than a woman who nurses 7 times a day for 20 minutes each time. (They both are nursing 140 minutes in a 24 hour period.)
- Use correct latch and holding techniques to breastfeed so it doesn't hurt. Find your local La Leche League group. It's a wonderful mothers support group that share good helpful tips on variety of topics.
~ Even though you're recuperating, the FIRST FEW days are critical to get the demand going. If you can, feed every 2-3 hours, at least 15 minutes per breast. Feed until the baby un-latch. If the baby and you are not in sync yet, at least pump to get the demand up. Expect some nipple tenderness.
~ Nurse as soon as possible after birth. Don't give up, keep trying! It'll get easier as you recuperate and as you figure out baby's needs. More milk will come as the baby breastfeed more often.
~ The first few days, you'll produce colostrum (thin milk, rich in proteins and antibodies) that are good for the baby even though the amount is not much. Later, you'll produce more milk for the baby as she sucks more. After the second week is when I see a larger flow.
~ There is nothing more important that you need to be doing right now. Everything else can wait.
~ Mom and baby tummy to tummy, or football hold.
~ Use pillows to support mom's arm and back.
~ Lean back on the seat instead of hunch over and get a back ache.
~ Baby cues that she's hungry: stick out tongue, Oooh mouth, sucking, hand in mouth, etc.
~ Getting the mouth to open - hand express few drops for the taste, touch the baby's lower lip and chin with your nipple.
~ When baby's mouth is open wide, bring the baby in closer to you, with one hand doing the sandwich hold on the breast. Your nipple will be in the top half of the baby's mouth.
~ Correctly positioned, the baby's chin is against the breast, the lips make a seal at the breast, and the nose is close to the breast. There is more of the darker areola showing near the nose than the chin.
~ press or massage breast to get more flow going.
~ Nurse baby whenever she's hungry. Baby may go through occasional growth spurts (around 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months).
~ After the baby is full and after you burp her, try to keep her at about a 45 degree angle for 10-20 minutes so that the milk won't come out. When the babies are laid flat, the milk can escape from the stomach, come back up the throat.
~ Mom's diet - eat healthy as you do during pregnancy, no specific food you need to avoid. and drink plenty of fluid. Caffeine some does pass through breastmilk though. If baby seems excessively fussy, mom can try removing cow's milk from the diet.
~ Do not hestitate to contact La Leche League leader or a lactation counselor if you have any concern! The sooner you fix the problem, the sooner your breast milk can satisfy your baby.
~ Introduce solid foods 6 months or later. Avoid allergey trigger foods. Do not give new infant honey, peanut, egg, or items that can trigger allergy.
- This natural herb can help increase milk production. http://www.gaiaherbs.com/product.php?id=63 This website has good info as well. http://www.kellymom.com/herbal/index.html
- Do not use a microwave to heat formula or breastmilk. Use warm water or bottle warmer.
- Do not prop up a bottle in baby's mouth or place in bed with a bottle in baby's mouth - it can suffocate the baby and the baby can't breath.
- Always wash hands before picking up the baby, or an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
- To reduce the risk of illness or fever, avoid taking your baby out in public (such as to stores or church) for at least the first two months of life.
- Before the baby arrives, stock up on your favorite frozen food and get the house ready. Because when the baby comes, you won't have time to cook. You'll be in recovery and busy taking care of the baby. Be sure to continue to eat healthy and drink plenty of fluid so you have the energy to take care of your baby.
- Nurture your baby by holding, cuddling, rocking, talking and singing. Spend time playing with and talking to your baby when he/she is awake. It is never too early to read to your baby.
Birth to 6 months books with black and white illustrations are excellent because of their eye development. Books with round corners and photographs of baby faces with no or very few words are excellent as well:
~ Baby Dance by Ann Taylor
~ Black on White; White on Black; What is That? by Tana Hoban
~ How a Baby Grows by Nola Buck
~ Hush Little Baby by Shari Halpern
~ Me and My Bear or other books by Margaret Miller
~ Peek-a-Boo; Smile by Roberta Grobel Intrater
Useful guides:
- New Parent Guide to the First 10 Days (PDF)
- Newborn Sleep Guide 0-3 Months (PDF)
- Infant Sleep Guide 3-6 Months (PDF)
- Baby Sleep Guide 6-18 Months (PDF)
- Toddler Sleep Guide 18+ Months (PDF)
- Developmental Feeding Guide (PDF)
- Guide to Inroducing Solid Foods (PDF)
- Transitioning to Toddlerhood (PDF)
- Books that were helpful for us - pregnancy, birth and beyond
~ What to expect when you're expecting. by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel (this was like our bible)
~ The BabyCenter Essential Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. by Linda J. Murray, Leah Hennen, Jim Scott, and BabyCenter Editorial Team
~ The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two by William Sears et al.
~ Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy by Mayo Clinic
~ What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot
~ Your Child's Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning From Birth to Adolescence by Jane Healy
~ Baby 411 by Denise Fields and Ari Brown. This book is very useful! The baby is not even a month old yet and we already had to look up to see if the eye goop and poop are normal, before we run to the pediatrician.
- Another resource with pregnancy & birth info: http://www.mothering.com/articles/pregnancy_birth/pregnancy_birth_main.html
Be flexible, because anything can happen during the delivery. This website has some helpful tips if you had c-section. Also, drink plenty of fluid, especially if you're breastfeeding. http://www.babycenter.com/0_postpartum-constipation_11707.bc
- Once the baby's teeth have begun to come in, it's important to clean baby's teeth with a soft-bristled brush after eating to prevent tooth decay. baby bottle tooth decay (BBTD), a major cause of dental cavities in infants that can also cause serious damage to permanent teeth later on. it most commonly occurs among babies who are put to bed with a bottle. once the baby fallen asleep, wipe the gums and teeth with a piece of gauze or a damp cloth after feedings and before bedtime. to stimulate healthy gums and good oral hygiene, it is a good idea to wipe the gums at least once a day, beginning at birth, even before any teeth have erupted in the child's mouth. once the baby has several teeth, start using water and a soft bristled, child sized toothbrush for daily cleaning. fluoridated toothpaste is not recommended until after age two.
More helpful infoBaby Center - Great information about babies’ development from pre-conception to age 8. You can subscribe to get a weekly email with information on your baby's development. After your baby is born the emails describe behaviors your baby may be showing and gives suggestions for activities to do with your baby.
Bathroom every 1-2 hours. Frequent urination during pregnancy and heartburn are because bladder and stomach got squeezed to make room for the growing baby. Tums help with heartburn. The lungs are also squeezed, so pregnant woman sounds like they're having trouble breathing.
For comfort, try not to drink too much water before bed, but drink plenty during the day. It's important to replenish fluid and water into your body. Water forms the amniotic fluid and you need water to flush out waste. The more water you drink during pregnancy, the less water your body will retain. Hence, the less likely you'll have pudgy fingers and swelling feet.

As the pregnancy progresses and the baby settles lower in the pelvis, there are increasing pressure on the pelvic vessels and nerves, this result in swelling in the feet and sometimes sharp shooting pains down the legs and into the vagina, these are normal. To relieve the pressure lie down or recline with your feet up as often as possible.
Sometimes I would SCREAM in the middle of the night because of sudden leg cramp. It hurts like hell. Maybe it's my first glimpse on what pain is like. haahaa. The breathing and meditation technique helps, and Wesley giving me massage ;) Baby is sucking calcium out of me. Baby's head is getting bigger to accommodate growing brain — which is busy developing billions of neurons. Every day, about 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited in baby's skeleton, which is now hardening. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester.
Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises — tightening and holding the muscles around your vagina and urethra — can help prevent urinary incontinence now and after pregnancy. By strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder, Kegel exercises can help counteract the pressure of an enlarged uterus during pregnancy. Kegels also improve circulation to your rectal and vaginal area, helping to keep hemorrhoids at bay and speeding healing after an episiotomy or tear during childbirth. As few as 30 Kegels a day can prevent urinary incontinence, according to Carolyn Sampselle, a professor of nursing at the University of Michigan. Get detailed instructions on how to do them.
Stretch marks
I heard from a couple of moms that applying creams do help reduce stretch marks. Apply it day and night! A few moms didn't apply it during the second birth and the stretch marks didn't go away compared with the first birth.
I got Palmer's cocoa butter with "vitamin E" at Walmart. Sometimes, I found Eucerin Aquaphor healing ointment reduce the itchiness better. I read that Bio-oil works very well. I also tried e-ointment with vitamin E and aloe vera from GNC. Unfortunately, my stretch marks were still pretty bad after applying those, I did have a big baby.
After delivery, someone mentioned to me following method works for her (I'll try anything! other than plastic surgery). Palmer's Firming Butter with saran wrap treatment apply few times a day, and Mederma apply on other times. Mederma is pretty pricy $29.99 for a 1.76 oz (50g), but seems like it works as stated by another mom, "I used Mederma on my newly formed purplish stretch marks. I used the product 3-4 times a day for 3 months and my stretch marks diminished 90%. Say what every you want about the product but I would recommend it to anyone."
Funnies :)
I read in babycenter.com weekly e-mail what Moms confess: "What I wish I'd known about pregnancy, birth, and beyond"
- "That pregnancy is really ten months!" — Anonymous - 41 weeks
- "About the constipation and flatulence. My husband was convinced that someone kidnapped his real wife." — Anonymous
- "That when you get further into your pregnancy be careful about sneezing and laughing too hard or you might find yourself needing another pair of underwear." — Carrie
Sunday, November 09, 2008
800 volunteer doctors, 2670 patients, 12 hours waiting in lines, 3 days, costs $26K, treatments worth $1.7M
What a wonderful piece done by the Washington Post. It's stories like this that win the argument why we need health care reform in our country. Regardless of the race or the neighborhood, there are people that need extra hands when the situation is tough. Companies with high profit margins do not need help. Companies on NASDAQ have the incentive to show increasing profit and maximizing returns, but not at the expense of people's live. Clinics and hospitals do need funding in order to stay open. It's a balancing act, but we need more competition, not monopoly. "The number of underinsured Americans has risen 60 percent since 2003, according to the Commonwealth Fund." Hopefully the next President can alleviate the health care problem while improving the quality of our medical system. And no... United States do NOT have the best medical system in the world. At least not now.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Precious Little Treasure (PLT) - pregnancy week 27
10/22/2008 - Hi Baby!! First image of the baby from 4D ultrasound at week 27 - chubby cheeks and little nose on the left side of the picture. It's like a Picasso painting, you have to use your imagination like Wesley said :)
At every OB check up, they always pull out a regular old measuring tape and size up my tummy as if to make some clothing alterations. After reading a baby magazine, the doctor is checking for the height of fundus (the top of my uterus) to see if we're growing at a good rate.
Healthy baby starts in the womb! Prenatal health can affect a person's risk of heart disease many decades later. People with low birth weights are at increased risk of developing heart disease as adults.
Above is my snapshot at the doctor's office for a regular check up. My belly gets bigger every time I look at it. I read in books and brochures that it's important to eat healthy during pregnancy in order to have a healthy baby. I thought I was a healthy eater. Even though I'm taking prenatal vitamins daily, but after routine blood work, appears that I'm anemic and I'll need to take iron supplement, which I heard is common in the pregnant women. I got Feosol carbonyl iron, from Walmart and it doesn't cause stomach upset. Note - iron and calcium tablets/milk should NOT be taken together, because the iron absorption can be reduced. While vitamin C related food helps with iron absoprtion. I was hoping to increase my iron intake through my natural diet, such as tofu, leaf vegetables, chickpeas, hummus. But after tracking my food intake through online food journal, I realized it's hard to eat the food I like daily and still have enough amount of nutrition. You can also download an excel pregnancy diet template. So it's probably a good idea to take daily vitamins even when one is not pregnant. I know vitamins usually is like swallowing pills, but Centrum just came out with chewable favor kind.
In order to make sure I have the nutrition that the baby needs, tracking daily food consumption is helpful. I also need to increase my protein intake to at least 80-100 mg/day. That means 2 eggs per day, milk, nuts, peanuts. Here's the tip on how to peel a hard boiled egg. They would tell you the weight you should gain during pregnancy, however, appears that it's more important to have a healthy baby and eat healthy, than go on a diet while you're pregnant.
Vitamin C is important to prevent premature birth and to strengthen the membranes (walls) of the sac that holds the growing fetus and the amniotic fluid.
Alzheimer's linked To aluminum - use stainless steel pots.
Lead can cause miscarriage. Run cold tap water for 1 min. before drinking it. NEVER DRINK HOT TAP WATER! so we ingest as little lead as possible. To reduce the lead in your drinking water: 1) flush pipes before drinking by running the water until it gets as cold as possible; and 2) use only cold water for consumption. Never use hot water from the tap. For example, don't run hot water to save time when you want to boil water for pasta. Hot water from the tap has the most lead. When you need hot water, take cold tap water and heat it. To reduce waste, shower or bathe first, which starts the flushing process for your home. Then run the tap you're going to use for drinking water for a minute and fill a pitcher for the day.
Too much caffeine during pregnancy may increase the risk of miscarriage and affect the development of the baby. This means not only coffee and tea, but also... chocolate :(
Definately no alcohol or smoking!
Birthing Class
Can't believe we only have 10 weeks (~3 months) to go... can't wait to meet the baby in person. After attending the birth classes and knowing more about the birthing experience, the pain, epidural, the pain killer, the side effects, we changed our mind and wanted to give back the baby :) no... we were just scared. We're not sure how much pain I can take, if the pelvis stretch exercises, breathing, and massage will work. I guess it's the unknown and the risks that make it challenging for first time parent.
We took a birthing class over two half-day during weekends. It covered everything but we still feel like we're not ready yet. with all the complications with the drugs, so many unknowns... what if epidural won't work. we don't know my pain tolerance, how the baby will turn. decision we'll have to make. realizing induction/pitocin will require epidural. complications may lead to c-section. doctor may want episiotomy (e...pee...si...oto...me... what is that?! Oh! that sounds kind of painful...) What if doctors and nurses are only doing things to make it easier for them and go home earlier, instead of what's best for us. we wanted to explore more about natural birth, so we're taking a 11 weeks Bradley method birthing class. even if natural birth won't work out, at least we're getting more prepared mentally. we watched several birthing videos, read birthing stories, and practiced relaxation techniques, meditation, and pelvis exercises. we'll see how it goes when it finally happens :)
9/30/2008 - Before daddy went to work, he whispered to you that he loves you very much. Did you hear him?
9/14/2008 - Daddy felt you kick in my belly for the first time. You're very active. It's neat to feel the little kick and punch everyday. We signed up for the birthing class and started to set up the baby room.
Wesley was glad my happy hormones kicked in and the first trimester is over. He has been asking when is my happy hormones kick in?! Our goal is to get the house ready before the baby comes. However, Wesley ordered some tech gadgets, like karaoke machine, Wii balance board, PlayStation 3 (Karaoke Revolution: American Idol Encore is a lot of fun. Simon really likes Wesley's voice!), Acer mini laptop, and Homedics massage cushion. I said okay, these are your Christmas presents and that's it! We have to save money for the baby. He said, well... the baby has to make sacrifices too! Oh my lord... (He was joking of course!)
8/30/2008 - My ankles swollen during the long trip to Taipei, Formosa, but we had a great time! Wesley found the maternity stores district and we bought a maternity support belt (TH03 model). It really helped when we were out walking a lot doing touristy stuff.
Wesley was trying to suck in his stomach, but no hope for Mary after eating yummy food non-stop during the trip :)
Taroko National Park, Formosa Taiwan
Our good friend, Angela Lin, planned a wonderful weekend trip for us. Hualien, Formosa Taiwan was truly beautiful!
9/21/2008 - Since we have the annual pass to the Universal Studio Orlando, we went to Orlando to have some fun before I can't move anymore or the little one comes. We also went to Colonial Dr. to eat some authentic Vietnamese food and to do some outlet shopping. Not realizing even the stationary rides do not accept pregnant woman! (like Terminator 3D) We ended up going to two shows where we planned to just sit there and be entertained. Just in time for the spirit of Halloween, we went to the Universal Horror Make-Up Show and the Beetlejuice's Graveyard Revue. In the horror show, the hostess (also pregnant) asked for a volunteer. Young kids eagerly raised their hands and yelled pick me, pick me! I always try to get Wesley to raise his hand since he's so shy :) Unknowingly, the hostess had her eyes on me! She asked me to go on the stage!! I was about to faint! I have never been picked to go on the stage in front of all these audiences and I was so nervous! But everyone clapped their hands, so I went up. The hostess asked if I like to watch movies, I said, yeah except horror movies!!! I had to hold some dead limbs, cut my arm (I was actually smiling during that!), and spook by a werewolf. Even though I was still shaking the whole day, but it made my day since this stuff never happened to us before! Wesley thought the show and the hostess were funnier than the last time we went. So that's my five seconds of fame and try out for Hollywood! :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tribute to innocent victims and heroes
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
We're expecting... a girl!


8/17/2008 - I get cramps and short sharp pains around my tummy every other day or so, or when I do too much activities. So I would have to lie down and rest a little bit. Then the following day, I would notice my stomach gets bigger and bigger to the point my belly button pops out and my belly accidentally bumps into the counter :)
7/23/2008 - We're going into the 14th week. I have a baby bump and I can't fit in my shorts that do not have elastic! Luckily Yen gave me her maternity cloth so I don't have to buy too many. We saw OBGYN Dr. Bray today. She explained that the pain or cramp I've been feeling is normal (round ligament pain). There are muscles that are trying to move my uterus up so the baby can grow out. That's good to know there's nothing to be concerned about. The blood work came back all good. I found out my blood type is B+ and Wes thinks his is O.
6/4/2008 - For the first time, we saw a little 7th week baby and the heart beat on the monitor at the doctor's office (see baby's first picture below, little pea inside the uterus). This confirms the pregnancy. This is the first time I felt like there's a baby inside of me and growing. I already gained 10 lbs since my last doctor's visit. I guess I should control my cravings, but I thought there's a purpose for the craving when you're pregnant ;) I’m so glad to see the baby in my uterus. I was worried if the baby will grow okay. the doctor gave us prenatal vitamins and whole bunch of literature and info. I've been sleeping a lot lately and taking naps here and there. No morning sickness thank goodness. Now we have the confirmation, I'll skype dad and mom was soon as they're on! The first thing Wes wants to do is to get a little baby tennis racket!

5/18/2008 - I've been sleeping a lot. Took really long naps which is unusal. Even though my stomach has been cramping, but my period is not here yet, so I did a pregnancy test and it came back positive for the first time! I did another one just to make sure and it was positive again. I asked Wes if he's ready to be a dad. We were both smiling. Wes said I had the pregnancy glow. It was a sigh of relieve, because I was thinking to go to a fertility doctor if it wasn't happening anytime soon. I was starting to get nervous. I'm going to be 34 in a few days! Can't believe I'm at that age already. I thought I'm still 30. Wes wants to confirm it first, maybe not to jinx it. As someone who worries all the time, I hope the baby is going to be okay. I have to take my prenatal vitamins and make doctors appointment. We're still going to the disney cruise next month. And we're thinking to go to Taipei early Sept. (2nd trimester) before I can't travel for a while. I want to spend some time with grand mom, and dad and mom should be back in Taiwan by then.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Mother Earth
Friday, May 30, 2008
Duty, Honor and Courage
I worked with the Service men and women. I also worked in the private sector, but there's nothing like working in a team, all working toward a common goal for our country. Duty, honor and courage are what they live by. You can still watch the complete episodes on-line.
Sexist is okay and racist is not?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Fun activities
The Simpsons at Universal Studio Orlando - Duh! Where's Bart and Maggie?
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Be financial savvy with Suze Orman
- "When it comes to your money, no one will ever care for it, need it, or respect it more than you" "never work with someone who operates on commission. It can raise a conflict of interest when he gets paid only if he buys or sells actively in your name"
- Money will never define who you are. You always define your money. Don't fall into the trap of buying fancy items and temptations. None of that matters. What matters is how you feel about yourself. When you do make money, save it for the future. rather than spend it. Don't spend it and waste it. Never, ever get into credit card debt. Have a life you'll enjoy, instead of running away from.
- A woman who owns the power to control her destiny must be able to ask for what she wants
- "People first, then money, then things"
Monday, May 05, 2008
Airfest 2008
The aircraft used by the Snowbirds is the CT-114 Tutor jet.
Lagback Cross
Big Arrow
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
May everything go perfectly for you
Venerable Master Hsing Yun
Meditation Timer
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Healthy citizen is a productive citizen
It's quite scary that in our country one can become homeless or bankrupt from health care costs if one becomes seriously ill. Will universal health care system diminish current health care system? Will the system cost more? Is basic health care a right to every citizen as the human rights or freedom of speech rights? or it's something that ones should provide for themselves regardless if they can afford it or not?
Good health care along with homeland security, education, jobs, training for unemployed, and retain good talents are important to keep our country strong and prosperous.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Aware of Your Thoughts
Friday, April 04, 2008
If you have 6 months to live, what would you do?
Randy Pausch, a professor from my alum, Carnegie Mellon, with terminal cancer, gave his last lecture and interviewed by Diane Sawyer (clip available on-line). As a good professor, he was teaching important lessons on… life. He was also on Oprah, Parade, and USA Today. It’s just courageous to see how he dealt with the toughest challenge of his life. These are some of his messages:
- We cannot change the cards we're dealt with, just how we played the hands.
- Never lose the childhood wonder.
- Loyalty is a two way street.
- Be good at something it makes you valuable.
- It's important to have specific dreams.
- Dream big.
- Dream without fear.
- I have never found anger to make the situation better.
- Your critics are the ones who tell you they still love you and care.
- Brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things.
- If you live your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself.
- When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.
- "When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do."
He has a blog and a book published. Through there, I watched another speech giving by another terminal cancer patient. When one has limited time on earth, it makes people realize what’s more important in life and bring clarity to life.
- How do you go from where you are to where you want to go?
- You get to have dreams and goals.
- Keep your dreams alive despite of problems.
- Don't ever give up. Mind, heart and soul.
- Work hard to achieve your goals.
- Know the importance of family and support.
- Enjoy precious moments of life. Laugh. Think. Cry. Live.
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Pearl of Wisdom
Ven. Jian Hu
Bodhidharma was the 28th Zen Patriarch in India and the first Zen Patriarch that came to China. Before he became a monk, he was a prince, the youngest of three brothers. His father was a king in southern India and was a very devoted Buddhist. One day, the king invited the 27th Zen Patriarch, Prajnatara, to the palace and offered him a very large, precious jewel. Prajnatara accepted the jewel but took this opportunity to test the kings' three princes.
He asked them, "Your father has given me this very precious jewel. It's the biggest I have ever seen. Is there anything in the world more precious than this jewel?" The eldest prince said, "Master, this is the most valuable thing in our palace. My father has given you the best thing he has. I don't think there is anything more valuable than this. Only a person of your sanctity and enlightenment is worthy of such a precious gift." The second prince answered in essentially the same way.
But the third prince, Bodhidharma, said, "Master, this jewel is very precious indeed. But this is not the most precious thing in the world because this jewel does not know that it is a jewel." What does it take to know that this is a jewel? What knows this is a jewel is your mind. What gives the jewel its value? We do, don't we? Does the jewel have any value in itself? Does a diamond have any value in itself? To a bird, is a diamond worth anything? It's less useful than a little worm. The bird would rather have a little worm than a diamond. To scientists, a diamond is just compressed carbon.
So who gives the diamond or jewel its value? Our desires. We all like it, we all want it, and therefore it is valuable. It's like the property in the Bay Area, which is very expensive because everyone wants to live here; otherwise, it's worth nothing, like some desert areas in California or Nevada. So we, our mind, create the value. So what's more valuable than any possession, more valuable than any material thing, more valuable than the most expensive jewel? It's your mind, isn't it? The jewel does not know that it's a jewel. It takes the mind to know that. Do you have a mind? Do you have perception? Do you have cognition and thinking? You already have the most valuable thing in the world, don't you? What are you doing with it? If you use it well, then you would be the happiest person in the world. If you don't use it well, you would be the most miserable person in the world.
So we already posses the most valuable thing in the world. It doesn't come from anyone. You don't have to work for it. It cannot be stolen from you. Anything you own can be stolen and taken away from you. This mind can't be taken away from you . Have confidence in yourself. But you need to know how to use it. You have to uncover its power, its value.
Excerpt from "Heart Sutra" Lecture by Ven. Jian Hu on April 28, 2002.
To Define Is To Limit. In our lives we make definitions such as "two plus two is four," "this clear liquid is water." These are concepts, abstractions, not reality. Reality is so immediate, so "here," yet it is so far away from us because we are always conceptualizing and analyzing, dividing the world into categories, and giving them names. Each time you name something, you are artificially constraining a part of reality.
For example, you can define "water," but when it becomes ice, you have to give it another name. So, when you think of "water", you don't perceive the whole reality of water. Water, steam, and ice are all a part of one reality. We also learned that water is made up of hydrogen and oxygen (H 2O), so hydrogen and oxygen are also a part of the reality of water. It's not that we should not define things or analyze them. But we should see that, while names and concepts are useful devices to help us understand the world and to help us communicate, they can also restrict our perception of reality.
Take the example of a diamond. We think of it as something beautiful and precious; we associate certain qualities with it. However, to a bird, a diamond is useless. An insect or a small tree branch is more valuable than the diamond. These different perspectives are also a part of the reality of "diamond." When we look at things in only one particular way, we limit ourselves; we become narrow minded. We get into conflicts because each person sees things from a different perspective.
We may say that in Buddhism, misunderstanding, or ignorance of reality, is the original sin. It is what makes us suffer. That is why wisdom is most important in Buddhism. As we practice and understand the teachings of the Buddha, we begin to see reality as it is, the whole reality, without bias.
Friday, August 31, 2007
DIY Travel: Tokyo and Beijing
Rainbow Bridge and Tokyo Tower


Transportation
Tokyo's highway system seems to be organized and well labeled. They drive on the other side of the street like Britain, so look LEFT when you cross the street! From the Airport, you can catch taxi, JR train or airport shuttle. Some taxi drivers do not understand English, so it's helpful to print a copy of the hotel's name and address in Japanese. The subways are owned by different companies, so the costs are different and they're not interchangeable. However, you can usually get from one place to another within the same system. Tokyo's main subway is called Tokyo Metro. They have an One-Day Open Ticket for 710 Yen, but we didn't use it since we didn't have to go to that many destinations in one day to be worth individual fare.
Currency exchange
Chase credit card charges you 3% transaction fee, or you can exchange currency. Be sure to call your credit card company ahead of time to let them know you're travelling overseas so not to flag your account for suspicious charges.
Tips
In general, tipping is NOT required in Asia. Tips are usually included in hotel and restaurant bills; otherwise, tipping is not expected, but I'm sure appreciated.
Lost in Translation
Google has a good translation tool. Unlike Europe, many of the signs do not have English translation, but if you can read kanji, it'll help. We were able to travel on our own in Tokyo since it's a modern city. Similar to other travel experiences, we got a little lost, but eventually we made it to our travel destination. If you need help with the direction, usually young Japanese can speak some English.

After research, we like Villa Fontaine Shiodome the best! or Toyoko Inn. It's NEW and you don't have to break your bank to stay in the Tokyo city. It's by Shiodome (pronounced She-Oh-Doh-May) subway, newest part of the town, or Shimbashi subway. Villa Fontaine is right next to Conrad Tokyo, which is a larger landmark if you're catching the airport shuttle/limo. The hotel was just built in 2004, so it's pretty new and modern. The room is small, but so is everywhere in Japan. They have special rates or promotions in the Japanese section of their website, but you can use the google translator and make a reservation on-line. you can find a clean and nice room with free breakfast and free Internet in the room (just bring your laptop and RJ45 cable). In Asia, the pillow and bed are harder than the soft ones I'm used to in the States.
In the Ginza district with lots of shops, Sony Building Showrooms open daily 11:00 to 19:00. Admission Free. Also, in the Ginza district there's an Apple store.
In the Akihabara district (electronics and animations), the Tokyo Anime Center was interesting and free. We didn't get any electronics since the price and the selections seem to be better in the States. Free tour if you need it.


Shinjuki has a lot of people on the street and lots of lights at night. By Shinjuku, you can have views of Tokyo completely free on the 45th floor of the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Center. The North Observatory is open daily from 9:30 AM to 11:00 PM. Tour office - 1st floor 9:30 AM to 6 PM daily. There are many building there and it was kind of confusing to get there. when we got closer to the area, we followed people to the entrance, looks like the lower level of a parking garage.
Via the Yurikamome line, we went to the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation. It was very interesting. We saw the walking ASIMO robot on the Discovery channel.
Also on the Yurikamome line, Ariake stop, is the Panasonic Center, where they showcase their latest products, which was really cool for gadget lovers. They have the world's largest plasma HDTV (103V, as of July 14, 2006), we wanted to get one!
On that line, they also have other cool buildings, the Fuji TV Building on the Daiba stop and the Telecom Center.

A good place to eat and shop after touring is the Venus Fort - Palette Town on the Aomi stop. Also, there's a Toyota/Lexus Showcase center for free where you can sit in the cars like the car show which is really cool.
The Sensoji Temple was a nice destination. After walking through the modern city with tall buildings and technologies, it was nice to visit a place of culture and something old. Notice when the local people arrive, they waft the burning incense toward their body as an act of purification and to seek health and wellness.
By the Ueno subway stop, there are many good museums such as Tokyo National Museum with many worthy exhibits.

At the end of the trip, in order to get to the Narita airport, we took the Airport Limo at the Conrad Hotel stop next to our hotel. It costs a little more, but we don't have to lug our luggage around the subway and find our way. It was a long drive as we say goodbye to the city. We definitely want to come back again and visit!
Beijing
When we first arrived the airport, all we saw was people, people everywhere. Apparently the easiest way of transportation was via taxi. The line to catch taxi was fairly long, but it moved quickly. It seemed chaotic with cars and people everywhere, but looks like they try to implement some kind of system to streamline the process. The city is large. There are five beltways that loop around with cross highway so you can go from inner ring to outer ring. The pollution was very bad, it was very muggy and you can't see the blue sky. Apparently, they're furiously trying to get ready for 2008 Summer Olympic.
Forbidden City, the imperial palace, is in the city, so you don't have to travel too far. It's right across from the Tienanmen Square. Forbidden City (built 1420) was as impressive as the Versailles (from 1682, King Louis XIV lived there). It was just fascinating to see where emperor and empress lived through the dynasties, where they held their official functions, and what it was like 600 years ago. The place has so much history, I wish I know the stories better. Empress Dowager Cixi and Empress Dowager Ci'an lived there.

I could spend the whole day in there. The audio tour that comes with the admission is pretty good. The area is so large and everything is within the wall. Seems like every placement has a meaning. The number or the placement of each structure symbolize good luck, harmony, and grandeur of the emperor. The words they name the palaces are so mystical, such as Earthly Tranquility, Heavenly Purity, and Supreme Harmony.

This civilization was organized. There were many rituals and ceremonies they had to follow. Events were meticulously documented. Each building has its purpose - military, official greeting, official affairs, imperial wedding, garden, residential. Forbidden City is where the emperor rule the land. The architecture alignment from the center axis, the art works, the calligraphy, and the military weapons suggest various stages of the civilization. They were very spiritual, everything had to be harmony with heaven and earth.
About 30 mins walking distance from the Forbidden City, there's a modern mall, The Malls at Oriental Plaza. Hyatt is near by there. There are many modern buildings. I heard Holiday Inn Lido is another good place to stay. By Lidu, I love the Pure Lotus Vegetarian restaurant and the Oriental Taipan massage (with complimentary drinks and snacks) after a long flight. CNN has a review of the place and a traveler has a pretty accurate description of the experience. I found woman masseuse is better than man. Woman's hands are softer and gentle, but they massage as hard. If you need to charge batteries/laptop/cell phone, be sure to bring a really good electricity adapter, and beware of the voltage even though the shape looks like it's the same. We fried our battery charger.
One of the seven wonders of the world is the Great Wall of China (built since the 5th century BC). World's longest human-made structure, stretching over approximately 6,400 km (4,000 miles). To prevent the barbarians from attacking the country, it's really out there by the mountains , so the drive seemed really far, maybe 1.5-2 hrs away. Beware of the fake great wall (believe it or not), which is closer. You have to go a little farther to get to the real one. It goes miles and miles and loop around the mountains. Badaling section is the closest to Beijing and the most popular one. It has a cable car to take you to the higher point. beware the toilet is not too clean there. get your souvenirs down at the base level. you'll need to bargain with the vendors. but as you walk to the next vendor, the price comes down. they pretty much sells the same stuff. there's a museum and movie at the busy part of the base level.

We've been wanting to visit Great Wall at least once in our life time, but once we got on the Great Wall, it was a lot of walking and very hilly on the mountains. There were a lot of people and it was hot. We took lots of pictures and then left. I guess it's one of those places, you just want to say I've been here.
I heard the tomb of Qin_Shi_Huang, of the Qin Dynasty (221 BC – 206 BC), is interesting, where there are Terracotta Army. There are many historic places to visit that'll have to be another trip.
If you're looking for a decent meal before your flight, the Celestial Restaurant is good. It's all the way at the end of the airport before you go through the visa/security line. It's at the quiet end and there are no sales ladies trying to bring in the business. they have good Chinese meal before your flight.
Washington Post Online has an interesting series to how the economic transformation has changed family and lives in China through the eyes of women, elderly, and migrant workers.
