Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Our Birth Story - baby Jasmine

During majority of my pregnancy, I had normal one. Yeah, I got the aches and pains, regular pregnancy discomforts, but overall it was normal... until the very end.....

I started to get rashes on my tummy, then it spread to my legs and arms. It itched like crazy!!! After research on the Internet, we found it's a rare pregnancy rash called
PUPPP. The doctor recommended Benadryl, but it only worked for a day. I even tried lots of benadryl cream and hydrocortisone cream with aloe, but none of them worked.

I was getting desperate. My doula recommended dandelion root herb. My doctor didn't think herb is a good idea. But none of the doctors' recommendation worked! My good hubby did more research on the Internet and found that dandelion root worked for many pregnant women. Even still, we waited out, but it was getting to the point where I scratch myself that it started to bleed. So we tried the dandelion root herb and in a few days the rashes and itches became less. What a relieve! My obgyn said at the weekly checkup, oh seems like it's getting better, we just smiled. Seems like the doctors don't know how to cure this condition, since there isn't much funding to research this rare condition.

More info on PUPPP:
http://pregnancy.about.com/b/2010/01/08/puppps-in-pregnancy.htm
http://www.tcinternet.net/users/kritzerburke/naomi/PUPPP.htm http://www.cynicalmom.com/2005/11/no_puppps_with_.html http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A2829297
Many sufferers have reported complete elimination of the rash by taking dandelion root herbs - either as tea or in capsule form. Dandelion root is a herbal remedy that acts by cleansing the liver and ridding the body of bile acids (often the very cause of the itch). Sufferers have taken up to six capsules per day (three in the morning and three in the evening) and reported how the lesions have completely disappeared within five to seven days. Please note, dandelion contains a high level of vitamin A and high levels of this may be harmful to your growing baby, particularly in the first trimester of pregnancy.


I made sure this natural herb is organic. For ones who think I'm not being a good mother for taking the dandelion root, you wouldn't want to wish this condition on your worst enemy! It was a torture. I wouldn't have take it if it wasn't causing me to go insane. pediatrician said our baby is in the 95 percentile and healthy with apgar score of 8/9 out of 10, so i'm not worried.


I would think the prescription drugs that the doctors gave me are more serious. In the "complete book of breastfeeding" by Dr. Eiger and Sally Olds, there's a section on drugs during childbirth. Many women use epidurals, pain killers, and antibiotics after c-section. the book stated that you have to weigh the relative risks and benefits of pain relief. If you're in so much pain during childbirth that you're worn out and overstressed, your ability to nurse will be affected. keeping down the amount you take minimizes the risk. the book also stated that whenever possible, it's better to continue breastfeeding than to wean your baby prematurely because you are taking a drug that might harm your baby. early weaning deprives the baby of the benefits of breastfeeding. also to take the medicine immediately after a feeding and to delay the next feeding as long as you can so that the medicine will have as much time as possible to work its way through your system before the baby's next nursing. meanwhile, watch your baby closely for any unusual symptoms - fever, sleepiness, vomiting, unusual crying, loss of appetite, diarrhea, rash, irritability, etc. Call the pediatrician if you notice these signs.


The zits I had for a year also started to disappear too. Then I realized I've been having liver problem since a year ago, probably due to stress. I sought dermatologist's recommendation before regarding my zits and they were going to give me more med, which could make it worse! Good thing I didn't take their med since I was planning to have a baby.


I also found the Sarna lotion really help relieve the itch temporary. at least to keep me sane for the moment.


That whole PUPPP experience was really stressful and my body was tired. But my mom came and it was really nice to have her here since I couldn't do much in my condition.

Then on Sat. end of week 38, I had heavy bleeding when I went to the bathroom, and part of it was mucus like. I guess it was the mucus plug coming off. It didn't bleed as much afterwards, just a little, and the contractions were not consistent, so the doctor wasn't worried. Apparently it doesn't mean the labor start right away when the mucus plug is loose and it can take days or week. So I would bleed a little and more mucus came off, more braxton hicks contractions (it feels like a bad cramps and period). I could feel that I'm dilating and effacing.

Few days later at the doctors weekly appointment on Wed. week 39, I was 1.5 cm dilated, 75% effaced, -1 station. it's good to hear I'm making progress after all these efforts. The doctor thought I could deliver by end of the week, but we made an appointment for next week just in case.


The expected due date on Sunday (week 39) came and went, we tried to be as patient as we can, realized the baby comes whenever she's ready. we tried to walk around the neighborhood and stores (went to Costco and Baby R Us), thumb sucking, and nipple stimulation, to speed up the delivery. but it was a wait and see game.


At the doctors weekly appointment on Wed. week 40, I was 3 cm dilated, 90% effaced, -1 station. The doctor thinks it can be any day now. The baby's heart beat was good. My tummy was big, but it was big throughout the whole process.

Then the cold snap came in Florida and it was really cold (by Florida's standard and many crops and plants were damaged), I got a light fever. It didn't go pass 100 degrees, but it was a fever nonetheless and it didn't help with my condition. I took
Tylenol, it was on the approved list for pregnant women, regularly to reduce the fever. Good thing I didn't have a fever anymore when it was time to go to the hospital.

More and more braxton hicks contractions on Thurs and Friday of week 40, nothing consistent, but still painful. hubby would give me back massage and counter pressure to help with the back ache. I did a lot of pelvic rock, hands and knees to try to get the baby in the right position for labor. I was trying to do all the things we learned at the birthing classes.



After midnight, Saturday morning, the contractions were starting to get regular. hubby draw a picture of lotus flower to help me visualize and meditate to relax and be less painful. then during the day, we thought we were going to the hospital soon. Loaded our luggages and baby seat. but the contractions were all over the place, nothing consistent. we reported progress with our doula. no hospital yet. I had contractions throughout Sat. night, my hubby was trying to keep track of them. I did some pelvic rocks, lounges, watched Seinfeld, took a shower to relax. we managed to get a few hours of sleep.

on Sunday, week 40 (lunar new year eve), it's now a week after the expected due date, I continued to have contraction throughout. In the wee early morning, my body was shaking. I could feel the pressure on my pelvic. Hubby took my temperature, it was high, but not over 100, so I took a tylenol. I had a lot of back pain and hubby was giving me counter pressures. I continued to do pelvic rocks and lounges.
I got sharp pains in the afternoon on Sunday. Phone calls and e-mails were coming in to see if the baby is here yet. but I was trying to focus on the breathing and the contractions. We checked in with doula, no hospital yet, the contractions were not close enough. I continued to get some red mucus plug here and there, and i thought my body was making progress, slowly.


In the late afternoon, it was more of the same. contractions, pelvic rock, ate something and drink to replenish my fluid. It was intense at times. then I must have hit the natural alignment plateau, because the pain was less and I can talk and smile a little bit. My doula called to check on me, she said to call her if the contractions are closer together. Then, right after the phone call, the contractions started to get really really strong, and I was on hands and knees doing pelvic rock and yelling out I want epidural!! hubby quickly called our doula and she was on her way. apparently she was waiting for me to get to this point when i ask for drugs. i wanted the intense pain to go away, so i started a warm bath. my water hadn't broken yet. the water really helped with the pain, i wanted to deliver in the water. but it's not allowed at the hospital.

the doula came quickly but the bath was feeling so good that my contraction stopped. she said that they usually don't start the bath this early. so we went to take a walk around the neighborhood slowly to get the contractions back. i walked for about every 10-20 steps, then I got the contraction pains. I lend my body against hubby and rock my pelvis. neighbors were looking at us with concern. it was getting dark, so we headed back home, had some dinner at 7 pm, and called my OB office. I tested positive for the Group B Strep, they needed time to inject dosage, so more reason to start going to the hospital now. Dr. M was on called that night. with 3-4 minutes of contractions apart, he sent us to the hospital.

We had 2 medium sized suitecased packed already, one for items we need during the labor, the other is for items we need during recovery. We went through the check list and packed up whatever we still needed. We got Gatorade ice chips, and hubby got lots of drinks ready in the cooler. My mom and doula followed us to the hospital. I had a big pad on my seat just in case my water break. i heard amniotic fluid doesn't smell too good in the car :) Luckily UCH is only 10 minutes away, down the street. My contraction was coming so I face backward, got on my knees on the seat and lean on the head rest to continue my deep breathing and telling myself to relax.

When we got to the hospital on Sunday night, they sent me up to get my health insurance info (it helps if you pre-register before hand) and to the triage to check on my condition first. I took doula with me, while hubby and mom waited in the lobby. i got undressed and put on the hospital gown. the nurse took my urine sample, asked some questions, checked my cervix, reviewed my birth plan, admitted me in to a delivery room, and sent up my hubby and mom. All the nurses and staffs at UCH were just excellent. The pm nurse Claudette was so sweet and attentive. even though she was supportive of our birthing plan, she had to check with Dr. M if I can drink fluid throughout.

Regarding the birth plan, we made sure we reviewed it with all of the OB doctors in the practice before hand and got their okay since we didn't know who will be on call when the baby comes. One of the thing I requested in the birth plan was allow to drink fluid, and Dr. M didn't object about this before, but on that day, he told the nurse he had trouble with it before during a surgery. Well, I was allowed ice chips, and nurse allowed me to have gatorade ice chips as well, so I can't help the form changes and ice melted. So hubby gave me straw to drink to keep me hydrated. Actually, when I got to the hospital, when the nurse put in the heplock IV in back of my hand, she couldn't find my veins because I was so dehydrated during the contractions. the needle hurts like hell on back of my hand. I was trying to meditate and relax so it won't hurt as much. I thought I was drinking enough, but I guess not (they don't put IV inside the elbow area where they usually draw the blood so that when it comes time to push, it won't be in the way.)

Next few hours were a blur. I recalled doula telling me I'm doing a great job, and letting me know when the contraction is coming down, which was just music to my ears. She knew all the right thing to say and gave me support throughout the night. I liked the room dim and quiet, so I can focus on my breathing. Doula recommended during the contractions, I squat down to open up my pelvis. At the end of each contraction, my hubby gave me some water to drink to keep me hydrated. We were working as a team. i was breathing a lot through the labor and got very thirsty. it was a repeated cycle - contraction coming, breathe, pain, oh screamed, prayed, squatted, contraction peaked, came down, got some ice chips or fluid through straws. when i was not squatting, i would lean on piles of pillows. every time when i moved, the fetal monitor can't stay still in a place and doula helped by finding the baby's heart beat again. we wished someone would invent a better monitor. I got so tired I actually slept through some big contractions. strangely i wasn't in pain when i was sleeping. it was such a good pain reliever.

I got up couple of times to go to the bathroom, and my hubby wheeled the IV stand. I got the room with a bath tub and water jets, but the bathroom didn't look too clean and i wasn't sure if the jet was sanitized and the tub was a regular rectangle tube, not the big comfortable one, so i never used their bath tub to keep me comfortable.

I had the hospital robe on and I was bleeding here and there. They gave me a big pad to wear and a sexy netted underwear where they can cut through quickly if needed. other than drinks, we bought some snacks like cookies for nurses and support people to keep their energy going. i think sun chips would have been a good choice as well. they had the birthing ball at the hospital, but I was feeling pressure down there and didn't want to sit on the ball.





Dr. M came to check on me a few times. I wasn't making progress, but we asked for more time. It's either he's a jerk or he had a bad night. He was very condescending, even the nurse and doula thought so, but I just ignored him. We knew from talking with him before that he's going to be trouble, good thing he's not my regular OB doctor. By early Monday dawn, I still wasn't making progress, so he offered pitocin or break the bag of water. We decided to break the water, and the warm water was just gushing out of me. It felt interesting, like I never felt before, but the water had meconium which was a concern.

The sun was coming up. we could see the sunshine coming through the windows. It was Monday morning. I contracted some more, but it was time to change the shift. Yeah, no more Dr. M. I was trying to look sad. I didn't have a good impression of the male OB doctors anymore after these experience. They just don't know what women are going through and they just followed the text book answers, or react to their previous bad experiences.



Monday morning Jan. 26th, the nurse shift also changed. I didn't realize my sense of smell was really intense. The new nurse had some perfume on and was bothering me so much while I was trying to focus on my contractions. Apparently, the heightened sense of smell is another sign of labor.


Dr. S came in later, my regular OB doctor. she said that I waited for her. I guess we all did. the baby waited until the first day of lunar new year of Ox. Ox like my hubby. Dr. S checked my cervix, still no progress, but she gave us some time. By then, I was contracting for so long and so tired, in so much pain, I was looking like a mad woman and pulling my hair. I kept thinking about the epidural, but we had a goal of natural delivery for the benefit of the baby. it was so difficult. after such a long labor, contracting for a few days!!! 60+ hours of contractions. the baby was still at -1 station and 6 cm dilated, and not making progress. I'm not even at the transition stage, which is supposed to be the hardest part!!! I was tired mentally and physically after such a long time. I'm not sure if it's because I was too tired and my uterus was exhausted from working for a few days, my contraction started to slow down to every 5-8 minutes again. I thought of a very good friend's advise that I didn't have to be a super woman, and I broke down, said this is just inhumane, cried, sobbed, and asked the nurse for the epidural. My hubby actually sobbed with me seeing that I was in so much pain, for so long. The nurse got the anaesthesiologist and he came quickly. I was afraid that I'll move during the contraction, doula was helping me hold still. i wanted to know when the anaesthesiologist is going to start and to time it when my contraction ends. as i was talking, the anaesthesiologist said he's done. the anaesthesiologist was very good and quick. I didn't feel anything really. I didn't even know he was working on me and next thing I know he was done. I asked for the lightest dosage to start with and i was in heaven...

They injected pitocin to speed things up since the water had meconium, and the baby could be in distress. i slept through the contractions and didn't really feel anything. Dr. S came to check on me again and I still wasn't making progress!! still at -1 station and only 6 cm dilated. on the contrary, the baby's heart beat kept going down to a really dangerous level that they had to stop the pitocin. Dr. S recommended that I get a c-section! just what we wanted to avoid! She gave us 10 mins to think about it. Luckily the am shift nurse Valerie was very good at explaining. She showed us the my stats and explained the facts. I didn't want an emergency c-section and I knew that this was the only way out after few days working at this! So I agreed. My hubby was in disbelieve what was happening, but he agreed as well.

The whole c-section process was very quick and all of the staffs were very professional and very attentive. I was very impressed with UCH. My hubby put on the surgery gown and got his camera to capture the moments. We had the cord bank kit as well. They checked three times to make sure the anaesthetic worked before they start. I was feeling good and we chatted with the anaesthetic nurse to distract our minds. She gave us the progress and made sure I was doing okay. Dr. P was also there to assist which was good. I knew I was in good hands. Next thing I heard the doctors grunted trying to get something big out and telling Wesley to get his camera ready. The doctors yelled out that it was a big baby and she was facing up (instead of facing my spine for better delivery). Apparently, she was a big baby (almost 10 lbs) that she just couldn't move down. I guess the pelvic rock didn't really help with this one. the doctor thought she was about 8 lbs, but it was a guess and didn't realize she's almost 10 lbs. I wished they could've done an ultrasound to determine the size of the baby first. it was a BIG baby. even though I was trying not to eat too much, either I was eating too healthy or the baby absorbed the nutrition very well. the whole c-section process was only one hour and i had the epidural for only about two hours.

looking back, i think overall, even though it was as traumatic as my body can take, I think we made the right decisions. my friend's advise was in my mind that I didn't have to be a super woman, we knew many people who had c-section and they were okay, and i didn't want the doctor to have to perform an emergency c-section and jeopardize our lives. later during the recovery, couple of nurses told me that they had a big baby and got tore up pretty bad down there and I didn't want that! both baby and I are doing as well as can be expected. i'm slowly recuperating from the cuts, and it's getting better every day and thank goodness my mom was here to help! i'm truly truly blessed to have all the supports that I received throughout this whole experience.



OB doctor let hubby took pictures of our newborn in the surgery room. As soon as she was born, she cried and had tears. She came out at 40th week, full term baby. As soon as I saw her, I was in tears too. Happy ones. I heard the doctors went through a checklist to make sure they didn't leave any instruments inside of me. Good practice! Check out Oprah's 8 Ways to Avoid Medical Mistakes - Dr. Oz's Smart Patient Checklist!



We moved up to the recovery room from the delivery room. the nurse bathed the baby. and we started the journey to learn how to be a first time parent. i was in bed most of the time recuperating, and Wesley had the guest bed, but we didn't sleep much during the first few days to take care of the new born. Hubby was so helpful throughout. He learned from the nurse how to change the diapers. i read in the Baby 411 book to bring baby wipes. The hospital does provide dry wipe (but you have to wet first) and diapers (Pampers Swaddlers are the best. The blue line shows that the baby peed and we had to keep track of when the baby pooped, peed, and ate how much). We learned so much from the nurses. the experienced helpful nurses were the best. We were trying to figure out why was the baby crying, how to hold the baby, how to feed the baby, etc. It's not the same when you get a live baby versus practice on a doll.



I learned that I had to take advantage of the nurse button while we're in the hospital, when we had no idea why the baby is still crying or to ask for the lactation counselors whenever we needed help. I had to remember to ask for the pain killer med every four hours. they won't give them to me unless i ask.


Because the baby was so big, the colostrum wasn't enough to fill her tummy. we were afraid that she'll get confused with the different sucking motion between nipple and bottle like some books advise. but she kept crying for food, so we fed her Enfamil Lipil and she was content. Later talking with my sister in law, that's the best formula to use since it's closest to breast milk. We found our baby was still able to breastfeed and supplement with formula until more milk arrives. She was so big that the hospital hat didn't fit her, Wesley had to go back home and bring some bigger sized cloth to fit her.

The hospital food was just okay (at UCH, call ext. 51294 to request for special meals). i couldn't eat on the day after c-section, i can only take liquid until i pass gas. i was so dehydrated, so i drank the juice at the hospital, but it was still too much and I threw up. the bucket they used to bath your baby is yours to keep and it came in handy.


after walking around slooowly around the hallway and passing gas, i was able to eat soft food, but the hospital didn't give me much soft food to eat! so my hubby ate most of my dinner. i had some mash potatoe and banana. well good thing i wasn't hungry then. the next day, i was getting hungry and the nurse allowed me to start eating, yeah! and good thing my mom bought in some yummy food to keep our energy going.

the hospital had good medical staff, but it was no Marriott. the shower was kind of yucky and no light in the shower. good thing i packed flip flop, hair blow dryer, tooth brush, tooth paste, hair brush, hair piece to tie up hair, change cloth for hubby, small blanket for the hubby during bedtime (hospital provided sheets and pillows for us, and blanket for me), light jacket, baby clothes and swaddle, baby car seat (installed), bath towels, shampoo for me, straws, cell phone charger, digital camera, pen & notepad to keep track of things, boppy pillow which was very helpful during feeding. UCH has wireless internet connection, so it was nice to have a laptop with us.





I had a bandage on my suture. Dr. Y, another male doctor was going to tear it off, but I said no, it'll hurt. I'll do it later. The nurse eventually wanted me to remove it so that it can get some air and heal better. The nurse gave me the tip that when I shower, rub some soap and water, it'll remove easier and won't hurt as much. I couldn't see over my tummy, so hubby had to help me with that one. Another example that male doctor never experience something like this and has no idea what woman are going through and how to comfort the patient, just the text book answers.

Before we leave the hospital on Thursday, they had to remove the staples. I was kind of scared, but the nurse said it was no worse than getting needle shots. I made sure I took some pain killer. the nurse was very gentle and it wasn't bad at all.

The hardest part of c-section recovery were breastfeeding, taking care of baby, and still handling the pain from the cuts and uterus contracting back. The doctor recommended that I rest a lot and not do much. Thank goodness I had hubby and mom around. My mom offered to take care of the baby at night so we can get a good night sleep, oh my god! it made such a difference!! Talk about lack of sleep, the first day back home, hubby went to CVS to fill the prescription for my pain killer med, and due to lack of sleep, he ran a red light! thank goodness nothing happened.

After the PUPPP experience, you think I can escape the itchiness. The PUPPP itchiness went away, however, I had allergic reaction to the med or the pain killer that I was taking. I was either suffering from the pain or the itchiness, and it was driving me crazy. My legs and arms must look horrible, plus the stretch marks on my tummy. My body really took the bruise and the beating. Dr. recommended to stop the prescribed pain killer and antibiotic med all together. So back to Sarna lotion and trying to detox my body. The first two weeks were the hardest, but it got easier day by day. Don't give up on the breastfeed, keep at it.
Plum juice is supposed to help regulate digestion. and drink plenty of fluid especially when you breastfeed.

I was also suffering from worrying that I'm not providing the baby enough breast milk. it just didn't come fast enough to feed her hungry stomach. and trying to get the latch thing going... all the expectations and trying to do what's right at the same time recoup from c-section were just overwhelming.

I'm feeling better day by day and Jasmine is such a good baby. She's very healthy and well developed at 95 percentile. She can already move her arms with good coordination and try to hold the bottle to her mouth. She can really eat! we can't feed her fast enough and when she's hungry, she gets really, really mad. She already outgrow many of the clothes. Her pediatrician said she's big now, but that doesn't mean she'll stay like that when she grows up.

The whole experience was still surreal and I couldn't believe it. The most most essential thing is the safe delivery of the baby and well being of the mother. We knew from start that labor delivery can be so unpredictable and to be flexible with whatever comes your way. No one predicted that we have a 10 lbs turkey :) you can prepare by educating yourself so that you can make the right decisions. it is also essential for the mom to get as much rest as possible. good food and plenty of fluid.



looking back, we wished we have more photos of her and us when she was just borned. we were in recovery and getting adjusted to her that we didn't have an ounce of energy left. so be sure to ask your visitors and family to take lots of photos for you from your camera!!!

now i experienced this, to all the moms out there, to my mom, her mom, and moms before that, you're amazing for bring a person to the world. and thanks daddys and family support. we couldn't do it without the team. It is indeed a miracle how a life formed inside of me. i looked at every inch of her body, her little toes, little fingers, chubby cheeks, eyes, little nose, full head of hair, cute mouth. mommy and daddy are going to spend rest of our lives with you. It is simply amazing. We created a human being...



Here is Wesley's story from his perspective:

We just had our baby girl, Jasmine, Monday, Jan. 26, 2009. Below is our birthing story.

Mary was 3 cm on Wed. Her labor started on Friday but stopped in the middle of the night. It started up again on Sat. and became 5-8 minutes apart around 8 pm on Sat.

By Sunday 3 pm, she was consistently at around 4-5 minutes apart so we walked around, squat, and labor 4-5 more hours at home. We checked into the hospital at around 9 pm when her contractions were 3-4 mins apart. When we checked in, she was 6 cm with the baby at -1 station. She continued to have contractions throughout the night and we continued to walk and squat until Mon. morning and the contractions were getting to 2-3 minutes apart. The doctor checked and she was still 6 cm and the baby was still -1 station. We were offered pitocin or breaking of the membrane to speed up the labor so we chose the latter.

The membrane was broken at 3 am and it has meconium so the doctor was a little concerned. He asked what we'd like to do and we decided to continue with her labor. By 9 am, her contraction has already been 2-3 minutes apart and very intense for about couple hrs. The doctor checked her again at 9 am and she was still 6 cm and -1 station.

By this time she was completely exhausted and her uterus was probably exhausted as well since it started to go back to 5-8 mins per contraction again. At this point, the doctor recommended that we take epidural and pitocin to help with the contraction. We decided and agree that we should try it.

She got the epidural and pitocin and when the nurse increased the pitocin dosage, the baby's heart rate started to drop so they have to stop adminstering the pitocin. We tried pitocin again in an hr and the baby's heart rate dropped again.

At this point, the doctor thinks that the baby may be stucked and recommended C-section. I was thinking "oh no", this is what we were warned in Bradley class and here it is happening to us. Mary and I were very upset but we decided to go ahead with C-section since she's been in hard labor for about 60 hrs and there's no progress at all. At the end we were both glad that we went with C-Section. It turns out that baby was nearly 10 lbs so no matter how much contraction Mary had, the baby just won't move down.

The birthing experience didn't turn our the way we wanted but we're still blessed with a healthy baby and mom and that is the most important thing.


P.S. new parents, as soon as you're feeling well, document your birthing story while it's still fresh in your mind, because after few months later, you'll forget and it's probably nature's intention to erase the pain so you'll want another child :) People want to know what caused your situation/problem, what did you decide how did you decide, what techniques helped you, and what was the outcome.


after listening to other's birthing story, seems like the best supportive place to have birth is at a birthing center assuming your birth is a normal birth. however, if something happen or the birth won't progress and you have to go to the hospital through emergency, seems like the doctors and staff on call can be spotty. my obgyn group said they won't take me if i come in emergency, they don't want to fix other medical profession's mistake and increase their chance of malpractice. also, it seems that a lot of doctors recommend things that's convenient for them, not what's the best for their patients. maximize earning, minimize time spent per patient. we see doctors would use scare tactics, bully, or just simply perform it without asking your consent. so it's important to find a good doctor that will do and recommend things that are good for the patient, not because it's easier for the doctor. ask around, bradley method teacher and la leche league. we asked doctors hard questions, but they answer what we want to hear, and when it's critical time, their intention is something else. we went over our birthing plan each time we meet with obgyn group, they're okay with it, but when it's time, the story changes. seems like the doctor want you to deliver on their shift so they can get paid instead of the next shift. also, it's best to get the anaesthesiologist as late as you can. seems like many moms didn't have a good experience like I did and had bad side effects. a mom got the epidural but it weared off when it's time to push.


P.S.S. Expecting parents, we were so glad that we took the Bradley method birthing class. the class meets 12 times, but at the end, we were so much more prepared, not as afraid of the unknown and the birthing process. we know the steps, the signs, and how to make better informed decisions. The class not only inform you of the birthing process and teach you relaxation methods, but also to teach the spouse how to be a coach and be invovled throughout the process. my husband said all the guys in the Bradley method class must be good guys, because to be that invovled and attend the classes take committment :) Melissa Taylor our Bradley method instructor was so supportive throughout the whole process. she's amazing. We're so glad to know her and be part of her class! looking back, the cost of the class is minimum compared to the sonogram and the doctors fee. i would recommend it to anyone who want an informed birth!



Monday, February 02, 2009

Baby Announcement - Jasmine Wong


Dear family and friends,

We would like to announce the arrival of our baby girl, Jasmine LeAnn Wong.
Meaning: Gift from God, God's Gift

黃理安 (nickname 安安)

January 26, 2009 at 1:21 p.m.
Weight 9 pounds 15.3 ounces.
Length 21.5 inches.
Head 14 inches, Chest 14.5 inches, Abdomen 14 inches.
Apgar score 8/9.

University Community Hospital, Tampa, FL

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

America's Song

"America's Song" performed by Will.i.am, Faith Hill, David Foster, Mary J. Blige, Seal and Bono.


Monday, January 19, 2009

A Letter from a Father to His Daughters

From the Parade Magazine.

'What I Want for You — and Every Child in America'
By President-elect Barack Obama
Publication Date: 01/14/2009


PARADE asked the President-elect, who is also a devoted family man, to get personal and tell us what he wants for his children. Here, he shares his letter to them.

Dear Malia and Sasha, I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

Monday, January 05, 2009

Financial planning with a baby

Started saving for college

With the rate college tuition are going, prepaid college plan might be a good idea since mutual funds are not earning as fast as the cost of the tuition. Florida Prepaid College Plan

Open a 529 college savings plan - allows the college savings to grow tax-free. When you take money out to pay for college (including room and board), no taxes on earnings.

529 plans offer unsurpassed income tax breaks. Although your contributions are not deductible on your federal tax return, your investment grows tax-deferred, and distributions to pay for the beneficiary's college costs come out federally tax-free. The tax-free treatment was made permanent with the Pension Protection Act of 2006.

As your kid getting ready for college within 5 years, be sure to watch the market and move the investment to a no risk portfolio. When you need the money, you need take the risk out and make sure the portfolio doesn't decrease.


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Pregnancy week 35



Jan van Eyck (1432)


Present Day

Ok, I was being silly :) heehee. Did you find the resemblance between the two pictures?




Just one month left to go, I think we pretty much have all of the baby stuff set up. Here's a snap shot of the baby room. Notice a pink tennis racket on the wall? :)

We also set up the baby mobile. We got this one because it has friendly smiley characters. Also, it has branches where I can hang high contrast pictures. In this e-book, The New First Three Years of Life, it says that babies pay more attention to bold contrasting colors. There are websites that show you how to make your own mobile.


We also got a travel system that has baby seat and stroller. Wesley was wheeling it around to test out the ease of mobility. We did some research on-line, read the users reviews, checked out Graco website, and went to the Baby R Us store to test out the product. We tested to see if it's easy to fold and use, We choose this one because it has the newest safety features and it has a 180 degree rotating canopy shade for sunny Florida. We also felt the fabric and liked the cushion on this one and the stain resist colors.

It's getting harder to move around and I'm starting to get braxton hicks contractions. Before we can't go anywhere with the baby and before our annual membership pass expires, we went to the Ringling Museum at Sarasota to check out the Egyptian - To Live Forever special exhibit. (I think the museum is free on Mondays but call ahead to confirm). This is as close as we can get to Egypt. They did a really good job setting up the exhibits like you're walking into the dark secret room. The sarcophagus from ~ 1,000 B.C. are so mystical. It's amazing the Great Pyramid of Giza was built around 2,560 B.C. while the Acropolis of Athens was built around 500 B.C. and the Great Wall was built around 200 B.C. A staff at the museum made a joke that I'm going to be a mummy. Get it? :)

I came across an article about this painting at the museum. I noticed Mary was breastfeeding baby Jesus (not bottle feeding in the public). During my birth class, seems like some people think public breastfeeding is a taboo, even though mothers are discret about it. It's legal and there are many benefits to breastfeeding instead of bottle feeding. Please be nice if you see a mother decide to do so.

Paolo Veronese, The Rest on the Flight to Egypt, circa 1580


The grounds of the museum are so beautiful and we were very lucky to catch a beautiful sunset...




Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Suze Orman's advice during this economic tough time

Check out Suze Orman interview and The Suze Orman Show on CNBC.

Her advice during this economic tough time:
  • You know you need to build an emergency savings fund that can cover six to eight months of living expenses; so you and your family will be okay if you are laid off.
  • You know you need to get serious-finally-about tackling your credit card debt, because you understand how a high unpaid balance can mean big trouble in 2009.
  • You know you need to invest more for retirement to have any shot at living comfortably later in life.
  • You know you need to sit down with your child and discuss how much you can honestly afford to cover for college
If you honestly know all that, you will not spend money on holiday shopping that should instead be used to build financial security. I want better for you and your family. Focus on what you know you have to do to build security and you will give your family the most wonderful gift of all.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Pregnancy week 34

6 weeks left to go! :o

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! :)


Are we ready for the baby? No! :) Ready or not, the baby is on its way! :)

We didn't know such a little newborn baby need so many things! There are crib (and things that go with it, mattress, sheets, bumper), mobile, car seat - stroller - travel system, nursing glider rocker, swing, bouncer, bassinet, monitor, 1-sec thermometer, bath tub, bib, burp cloth, diaper (disposal and/or cloth), diaper bag, diaper changing table, diaper wipes, creams, play yards, play mat, baby monitor, sling, BPA free bottles, bottle warmer if you use formula supplementing breastfeeding, breast pump, a small refrigerator for baby bottles (especially useful if you have two floors), boppy pillow, nursing bra, various sizes of baby clothes, swaddle wrap (or Wesley calls them baby straight jacket), toys, books, classical music, jumperoo walker, dresser, high chair, digital camera and video to capture the memories, etc... At the end of the day, it really comes down to if the baby is loved and cared for (getting fed and diapers changed).

We are very blessed that we got many slightly used items from family and friends. Kids outgrow things so fast! We found local baby consignment stores are good place to find things. Local Craigslist is another good source. Baby R Us website has pretty good users product reviews to research if the product is good or not. Be sure to check if there are any recall on the items. Baby's safety first!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Jupiter, Venus and Moon

When the sun goes down, look for the three brightest objects in the sky - Jupiter, Venus and Moon. They come closest, a phenomenon that will not be visible again till 2012.

The two brightest planets in the solar system and the moon were seen just two degrees apart and will be visible all through the night.



Monday, November 17, 2008

Pregnancy Week 31



We took a newborn care and breastfeeding class. It was very helpful for first time parent and we learned many things.

- Don't use baby powder! It has talc ingredient (good for preventing little ants) that can cause cancer and pneumonia. The powder can cause asthma. Use ointments or cream instead.

- Baby is used to be close to you and hear your heart beat during pregnancy, so sometimes the baby wants to be held all the time but you need to do some work. Baby sling is very useful.

- During bath, it's very important to stay with the baby all the time. Baby can move in split seconds.

- Don't buy used "open-system" breast pump because pathogens like Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), hepatitis, cytomegalovirus (CMV) and others can be found in the breast milk of infected women and there is no way to guarantee the pump can be cleaned and disinfected. "closed system" are okay giving that you replace all the tubes.

Breast pump is good for woman who needs to go back to work and still wants to provide breast milk for her baby, or to store extra milk in the bottle. If it's possible, breast feed directly is preferred, baby's sucking increase the supply and baby is better at sucking than the machine. 20-40 mins per side until the baby get the hind-milk after several minutes of nursing. It has the highest concentration of fat.

After delivery, it's important to have skin to skin contact between mom and baby. Don't feel rushed by the nurses, the baby will find his/her way to your breast. Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/user/breastfeedingbabies?blend=1

Good video on latching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zln0LTkejIs&feature=channel_page

- Ameda purely yours breast pump works very well. I called both Medela and Ameda regarding how to sanitize the bottles and parts. Both of them did NOT test it in microwave, but rather recommend to start with cold water and bring it to boil the first time using it. Then the future uses, wash with hot water and let it air dry. Handsfree technique.

- Breast milk has nutrition that formula can't reproduce. Breast milk helps your baby be healthier and have higher IQ. It's possible for woman to produce breast milk with help of lactation drug, natural herbs (Gaia), good healthy diet, rest and replenish fluid. Breast feed exclusively for the first six months, and that nursing should continue after the introduction of solids for at least 12 months, and longer if mother and baby wish. Cabbage can reduce the milk supply or help with engorgement.

DAY 4 TO WEEK 6 — SETTING YOUR MILK SUPPLY
http://www.ameda.com/breastfeeding/stages/day4.aspx


Good tip from our Bradley method instructor:
Milk is a supply and demand thing. The more the baby nurses, the more prolactin your body will make. The more prolactin your body makes, the more milk you will make. Frequency is important. A woman who nurses 12 times a day for 11.6 minutes each time will have more milk than a woman who nurses 7 times a day for 20 minutes each time. (They both are nursing 140 minutes in a 24 hour period.)

- Use correct latch and holding techniques to breastfeed so it doesn't hurt. Find your local La Leche League group. It's a wonderful mothers support group that share good helpful tips on variety of topics.

~ Even though you're recuperating, the FIRST FEW days are critical to get the demand going. If you can, feed every 2-3 hours, at least 15 minutes per breast. Feed until the baby un-latch. If the baby and you are not in sync yet, at least pump to get the demand up. Expect some nipple tenderness.
~ Nurse as soon as possible after birth. Don't give up, keep trying! It'll get easier as you recuperate and as you figure out baby's needs. More milk will come as the baby breastfeed more often.
~ The first few days, you'll produce colostrum (thin milk, rich in proteins and antibodies) that are good for the baby even though the amount is not much. Later, you'll produce more milk for the baby as she sucks more. After the second week is when I see a larger flow.
~ There is nothing more important that you need to be doing right now. Everything else can wait.
~ Mom and baby tummy to tummy, or football hold.
~ Use pillows to support mom's arm and back.
~ Lean back on the seat instead of hunch over and get a back ache.

~ Baby cues that she's hungry: stick out tongue, Oooh mouth, sucking, hand in mouth, etc.
~ Getting the mouth to open - hand express few drops for the taste, touch the baby's lower lip and chin with your nipple.
~ When baby's mouth is open wide, bring the baby in closer to you, with one hand doing the sandwich hold on the breast. Your nipple will be in the top half of the baby's mouth.
~ Correctly positioned, the baby's chin is against the breast, the lips make a seal at the breast, and the nose is close to the breast. There is more of the darker areola showing near the nose than the chin.

~ press or massage breast to get more flow going.
~ Nurse baby whenever she's hungry. Baby may go through occasional growth spurts (around 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months).
~ After the baby is full and after you burp her, try to keep her at about a 45 degree angle for 10-20 minutes so that the milk won't come out. When the babies are laid flat, the milk can escape from the stomach, come back up the throat.
~ Mom's diet - eat healthy as you do during pregnancy, no specific food you need to avoid. and drink plenty of fluid. Caffeine some does pass through breastmilk though. If baby seems excessively fussy, mom can try removing cow's milk from the diet.
~ Do not hestitate to contact La Leche League leader or a lactation counselor if you have any concern! The sooner you fix the problem, the sooner your breast milk can satisfy your baby.
~ Introduce solid foods 6 months or later. Avoid allergey trigger foods. Do not give new infant honey, peanut, egg, or items that can trigger allergy.

- This natural herb can help increase milk production. http://www.gaiaherbs.com/product.php?id=63 This website has good info as well. http://www.kellymom.com/herbal/index.html

- Do not use a microwave to heat formula or breastmilk. Use warm water or bottle warmer.

- Do not prop up a bottle in baby's mouth or place in bed with a bottle in baby's mouth - it can suffocate the baby and the baby can't breath.

- Always wash hands before picking up the baby, or an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

- To reduce the risk of illness or fever, avoid taking your baby out in public (such as to stores or church) for at least the first two months of life.

- Before the baby arrives, stock up on your favorite frozen food and get the house ready. Because when the baby comes, you won't have time to cook. You'll be in recovery and busy taking care of the baby. Be sure to continue to eat healthy and drink plenty of fluid so you have the energy to take care of your baby.

- Nurture your baby by holding, cuddling, rocking, talking and singing. Spend time playing with and talking to your baby when he/she is awake. It is never too early to read to your baby.

Birth to 6 months books with black and white illustrations are excellent because of their eye development. Books with round corners and photographs of baby faces with no or very few words are excellent as well:

~ Baby Dance by Ann Taylor

~ Black on White; White on Black; What is That? by Tana Hoban

~ How a Baby Grows by Nola Buck

~ Hush Little Baby by Shari Halpern

~ Me and My Bear or other books by Margaret Miller

~ Peek-a-Boo; Smile by Roberta Grobel Intrater

Useful guides:

- Breastfeeding Guide (PDF)

- New Parent Guide to the First 10 Days (PDF)

- Newborn Sleep Guide 0-3 Months (PDF)

- Infant Sleep Guide 3-6 Months (PDF)

- Baby Sleep Guide 6-18 Months (PDF)

- Toddler Sleep Guide 18+ Months (PDF)

- Developmental Feeding Guide (PDF)

- Guide to Inroducing Solid Foods (PDF)

- Transitioning to Toddlerhood (PDF)

- Child Safety Guide (PDF)

- Potty Training Your Child


- Books that were helpful for us - pregnancy, birth and beyond

~ What to expect when you're expecting. by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel (this was like our bible)

~ The BabyCenter Essential Guide to Pregnancy and Birth. by Linda J. Murray, Leah Hennen, Jim Scott, and BabyCenter Editorial Team

~ The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two by William Sears et al.

~ Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy by Mayo Clinic

~ What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot

~ Your Child's Growing Mind: Brain Development and Learning From Birth to Adolescence by Jane Healy

~ Baby 411 by Denise Fields and Ari Brown. This book is very useful! The baby is not even a month old yet and we already had to look up to see if the eye goop and poop are normal, before we run to the pediatrician.


- Another resource with pregnancy & birth info: http://www.mothering.com/articles/pregnancy_birth/pregnancy_birth_main.html

Be flexible, because anything can happen during the delivery. This website has some helpful tips if you had c-section. Also, drink plenty of fluid, especially if you're breastfeeding. http://www.babycenter.com/0_postpartum-constipation_11707.bc

- Once the baby's teeth have begun to come in, it's important to clean baby's teeth with a soft-bristled brush after eating to prevent tooth decay. baby bottle tooth decay (BBTD), a major cause of dental cavities in infants that can also cause serious damage to permanent teeth later on. it most commonly occurs among babies who are put to bed with a bottle. once the baby fallen asleep, wipe the gums and teeth with a piece of gauze or a damp cloth after feedings and before bedtime. to stimulate healthy gums and good oral hygiene, it is a good idea to wipe the gums at least once a day, beginning at birth, even before any teeth have erupted in the child's mouth. once the baby has several teeth, start using water and a soft bristled, child sized toothbrush for daily cleaning. fluoridated toothpaste is not recommended until after age two.

More helpful info

Baby Center - Great information about babies’ development from pre-conception to age 8. You can subscribe to get a weekly email with information on your baby's development. After your baby is born the emails describe behaviors your baby may be showing and gives suggestions for activities to do with your baby.

Bathroom every 1-2 hours. Frequent urination during pregnancy and heartburn are because bladder and stomach got squeezed to make room for the growing baby. Tums help with heartburn. The lungs are also squeezed, so pregnant woman sounds like they're having trouble breathing.

For comfort, try not to drink too much water before bed, but drink plenty during the day. It's important to replenish fluid and water into your body. Water forms the amniotic fluid and you need water to flush out waste. The more water you drink during pregnancy, the less water your body will retain. Hence, the less likely you'll have pudgy fingers and swelling feet.


As the pregnancy progresses and the baby settles lower in the pelvis, there are increasing pressure on the pelvic vessels and nerves, this result in swelling in the feet and sometimes sharp shooting pains down the legs and into the vagina, these are normal. To relieve the pressure lie down or recline with your feet up as often as possible.

Sometimes I would SCREAM in the middle of the night because of sudden leg cramp. It hurts like hell. Maybe it's my first glimpse on what pain is like. haahaa. The breathing and meditation technique helps, and Wesley giving me massage ;) Baby is sucking calcium out of me. Baby's head is getting bigger to accommodate growing brain — which is busy developing billions of neurons. Every day, about 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited in baby's skeleton, which is now hardening. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester.

Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises — tightening and holding the muscles around your vagina and urethra — can help prevent urinary incontinence now and after pregnancy. By strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder, Kegel exercises can help counteract the pressure of an enlarged uterus during pregnancy. Kegels also improve circulation to your rectal and vaginal area, helping to keep hemorrhoids at bay and speeding healing after an episiotomy or tear during childbirth. As few as 30 Kegels a day can prevent urinary incontinence, according to Carolyn Sampselle, a professor of nursing at the University of Michigan. Get detailed instructions on how to do them.

Stretch marks

I heard from a couple of moms that applying creams do help reduce stretch marks. Apply it day and night! A few moms didn't apply it during the second birth and the stretch marks didn't go away compared with the first birth.

I got Palmer's cocoa butter with "vitamin E" at Walmart. Sometimes, I found Eucerin Aquaphor healing ointment reduce the itchiness better. I read that Bio-oil works very well. I also tried e-ointment with vitamin E and aloe vera from GNC. Unfortunately, my stretch marks were still pretty bad after applying those, I did have a big baby.

After delivery, someone mentioned to me following method works for her (I'll try anything! other than plastic surgery). Palmer's Firming Butter with saran wrap treatment apply few times a day, and Mederma apply on other times. Mederma is pretty pricy $29.99 for a 1.76 oz (50g), but seems like it works as stated by another mom, "I used Mederma on my newly formed purplish stretch marks. I used the product 3-4 times a day for 3 months and my stretch marks diminished 90%. Say what every you want about the product but I would recommend it to anyone."

Funnies :)

I read in babycenter.com weekly e-mail what Moms confess: "What I wish I'd known about pregnancy, birth, and beyond"

- "That pregnancy is really ten months!" — Anonymous - 41 weeks

- "About the constipation and flatulence. My husband was convinced that someone kidnapped his real wife." — Anonymous

- "That when you get further into your pregnancy be careful about sneezing and laughing too hard or you might find yourself needing another pair of underwear." — Carrie